Sunday, June 9, 2013

What you didn't know!

So... I think I have struck a nerve. What do you think?

Anyway, I thought a follow-up post might be appropriate.

While I have very strong opinions about dating, engagements, and missions, there are some things that you may not have known, so let me enlighten you.

Are you sitting? Because this first item may be surprising to you!

Guess who dated a guy before his mission and wrote him the WHOLE 2 years?!?!?

In fact we dated a whole year before he left and we had every intention of getting married when he returned from serving his full time mission. He left in May 2011 to serve the Lord in Ethiopia.

                                                     (me and him going to a dance before he left)

And that's what he did, he served the Lord! Although we had strong feelings for one another while he was gone he was never "MY MISSIONARY." He was the Lords missionary. And he was not my boyfriend either, he was my friend, my best friend who was serving a mission for the Lord.

                                         (He is the really crouched one if you couldn't tell)

Before he left we had a serious discussion about us and our relationship. We decided to just be friends, because there was not really another option. He told me he expected me to go on dates with other guys, to hold other guys' hands, and he said, "let's face it, I think your pretty, and if I think your pretty some other guy will, too, and he will probably want to kiss you." He told me that he didn't expect me to be a nun for two years; he wanted me to learn and grow and really discover what I wanted in a spouse.

... any who... I wrote him every week - I believe I can count on one hand how many times I didn't write him an e-mail on a Sunday night, and those times were usually due to travels (I competed for a college debate team, and we traveled a lot for competitions!).

He wrote me back, and yes our letters did include the words "I love you" because we did love each other. I never told him how much I missed him, and I tried not to be distracting.

Just because a girl writes a missionary does not automatically make her distracting. However, in my last post I was addressing girls who I have watched with my own two eyes be distracting. If you don't know me in person I probably was not calling you out, but if you feel guilty because of my post, maybe it's time for a self-evaluation. (In specific I was calling-out a friend who sent her friend a package to celebrate their one year anniversary of dating.)

But back to my story. Standing at the beginning of the two years we thought if we were diligent then the Lord would bless us, and the relationship would work out.

We were blessed!
But we changed.
We grew up.

We didn't even necessarily grow apart, we just became two different people than the people we were two years ago. It was not a bad thing, either.

I decided to serve a mission because the Lord prompted me to. I know that it is ABSOLUTELY the BEST thing I could be doing in my life right now, and the Lord is so pleased with my decision.

We talked and realized that we had changed, for the better, and decided that when I return home, if he is not dating anyone, then we can go on a few dates and identify where to go from there.

We try to be realistic about our future together. Maybe we will end up together, maybe not, and I'm ok with that.

SOOO... I'd like to thank you for the comments and views on my page, I had an overwhelming amount of feedback, and I believe it was all valuable. But hopefully now you see I am not trying to be biased in my views. I have experienced both sides and believe I can see the pros and cons of each. I hope this has been enlightening, and enjoyable.

So for those of you who have missionary boyfriends, my plea is for you to be open minded and realistic!

Trust in the Lord and his timing!

Know that it is called the plan of happiness, and you will be happy with whom you end up with, whether it be the guy on a mission, or someone you have not even met yet!

Good luck!
Afton Michelle

p.s. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, I probably don't know you and your situation, but I do know the gospel is true and THE LORD LOVES YOU!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

So I'm going on a mission...

After hearing those words most guys these days are rolling their eyes.
Ok yes I know it may seem like everyone and their dogs are going on missions, but hey, at least the word of God is spreading rapidly!

Truth is... I'm going on a mission!

No, I'm not going because I can't get a boyfriend.
No, I'm not going because I don't want to go to school.
No, I'm not going because all of my friends are going.

Yes, I am going because I KNOW it is the right thing for me to do with my life right now! :)

But since I have uttered these words things seem to be a bit different in my life....

For starters I have noticed a TON more of way cute guys!

But once I tell these cute guys that I'm going on a mission I suddenly receive a really short hair cut and change genders. I become one of the guys, not that guys are bad or anything, it's just that I'm kind of a girl if they didn't notice, and I still like going on dates and getting to know guys.

If that doesn't happen, I just become invisible all together.

But now we get to the part of this post where I decide to stand on my soap box about dating and engagements, and of all things missions!

1. DO NOT call him or her YOUR MISSIONARY!!!!!!!
They are not out there serving you, they are the Lords missionary, and that is who they are serving! They for the duration of their missions are your friend, nothing more, nothing less. Which leads me to...

2. YOU are NOT ENGAGED and on a MISSION!!!!
I think the first presidency would have a heart attack if they heard this, I'm sure even stake presidents would have heart attacks if they heard this!!!!
If you are engaged, get married. As women we have the obligation to begin families if the opportunity presents itself. A mission is not a saving ordinance, Marriage is. Missions are not bad, but if you are engaged and really think that you will end up with that person, just get married and begin that eternal mission together, if not then c'est la vie.

3. 3%
That is the percentage of couples who write each other through the mission and get married. I know it sounds like a nice happy dream fantasy land, but that's all it is. This does not mean that your feelings right now are not real for each other, they are real, but let's be more realistic.

If you are reminding a missionary of you, and how much you miss them all the time that takes their focus off the Lord and what they are out there to really do. If you guys are supposed to be together it will happen, don't force it!

5. Don't post it on Facebook
Yay you have dated the guy for a long time and you are so happy, don't put it on Facebook. Write it in your journal. He broke your heart, write it in your journal. Facebook does NOT equal Journal. Sorry if that is too blunt for you, but think about if it doesn't work out, you don't want to see all those post later down the road.

6. For the Guys
You can still take out girls on dates even though they are going on missions. Think about what if you guys are really supposed to end up together and you are going to receive this revelation on that date, but you didn't because you thought it was a waste of time and money.... shame.

Ok enough ranting, now for a few interesting statistics about marriage and missions!

So you may know that the divorce rate in America is right around 50%. Then you may think... I'm LDS, we believe in eternal marriages, so the divorce rate must be less among the LDS community, right? WRONG, it's actually the same 50%. SO now you may be in shock... breathe because I have another shocker. The divorce rate among men and women who have both served full time LDS missions is... 2%. So if you are afraid of the possibility of getting a divorce in your life time serve a mission, and marry someone who has as well.

- Side note, all the boys who are belly aching that all the girls are leaving them, just think of all the future prospects in about a year from now. Your chances of divorce are less, and happy eternal marriages will thrive longer!!!

But really think about it, missions teach you how to work with a companion, and the Lord. IT'S PERFECT MARRIAGE PREP!

So now you can be happy that more girls are going on missions and such!
Good luck!

Afton Michelle

oh, p.s. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, it's just my personal opinions and you don't have to agree with them.

P.P.S Check out the next post  What you didn't know, for more info!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


Seeing as next week is finals, and most my of my actual finals are this week I probably should be studying, but I thought blogging or studying...OBVIOUSLY blogging won that battle.

I was sitting on the couch chatting with my roommate when I realized that I have not posted recently and that I am probably over due. So back to the title NINE DAYS!

One of my really great friends comes home from his mission in Nine Days, that's enough to count them on my hands. I can't believe that this day is actually approaching.

Also in NINE DAYS one of my best friends is having a reception, and getting married in Ten DAYS! I'm so excited for her, so here is your shout out KAMALA POULSEN!! :)

In honor of the 9 day count down I thought I would write nine facts about men and women.

1. Women are telepathic, Men are telepathetic. Women can read each others minds, Men are pathetic when they try to read any ones mind.

2. Men take ten minutes to get ready, Women can take 10 hours. Getting ready is a process for Women, Men don't rush them, Women be considerate. :)

3. Women think they are not as pretty as they really are, while men think they are more handsome than they really are (a great example is the Dove Beauty Campaign, and the Spoof!)

4. Women give directions based off of landmarks, men give directions based on numbers. This doesn't mean that either gender is bad a giving directions, just that women should tell women how to get to places and men should tell men how to get to places, problem solved!

5. Men give their honest opinion when asked, Women will always give you opinions, whether you like it or not.

6. Men can eat anything and not feel guilty about it, Women can eat nothing and feel guilty about eating everything.

7. Men don't read directions and can't figure how to set something up, Women do read directions and still can't figure how to set something up.

8. Men will answer you in Yes or No, and manage to not really answer your question. Women answer in almost every word besides Yes or No and still manage to not really answer your question.

9. Women see more colors then Men. Women see magenta, coral, peach, plum, and mauve. Men see different variations of Red, Blue, and Yellow.

Oh and P.S. awkward moment of the day and a note to a random stranger...

When I am walking to school and you (random stranger) drive past, I can see you crank you neck to look at me, it's awkward. Say Hi or I'll say GOOD BYE!


Don't ask me how I'm doing while you pass me, I can't answer that questions in the 3 seconds that I have to actually communicate with you. If you want to chat come visit me, if not just say hey like everyone else.

I hope you have a great day and good luck on your dating endeavors!

Afton Michelle

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Awkward adventures in Europe!

So just last week I returned from spending a week in Belgium, I know you are jealous, and you should be!

We had many wonderful things including waffels, chocolate and fries!
We also experienced more then we were accustomed to here in the states. This included but was not limited to naked statues, and other provocative items.... we will just leave it at that.

I guess being in Europe brought out the friendlier version of my friend Josh Christensen so what better then to post all of his awkwardness here on my blog!

The first one was when I was unexpectedly attacked by his hug, you can tell the horror I'm feeling inside by the face I'm making on the outside.
 This is Spencer being attacked by Josh as well...
This is where art imitates life, its awkward when you realize Josh is posing like a woman. The most awkward part was when our coach instructed Josh to "stick out your bum more, arch your back more."
 Josh thinks Nikko's wrists are tantalizing.
 Yes Josh is about to kiss Spencer, and it looks like Spencer is enjoying it... never saw that one coming!
 Josh is such a poser!
 Oh and last but not least meet sexy Pope. You can't look at that pose and tell me it is not the exact pose that Kate Winslet is pulling in the Titanic! Maybe only the opposite direction.

So what can we learn from this? Josh is awkward! But in that cute, adorable way that makes you want to always be his friend sort of way... right?!

Well I sure hope so!
Any who hope your week is fabulous, and that this brought a smile to your face :)

Afton Michelle

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Lovey Dovey and what not!

With Valentines coming up I believe that now is a good time to post about awkward flirting and such.
For those of you who are unfortunate enough to not have dates or significant others on this lovely day to celebrate love just know there is always this picture of this fluffy cat to comfort you!

                                           Isn't it cute?!

WELL... Back to Valentines Day... or Today... DESPERATION DAY!
Never heard of it? Well check this out!

Many girls may be wondering... How do I get a guy??!?!
It's probably too late now, let's just face it. HOWEVER, this does not mean that you need to moap around about how you don't have a boyfriend or a Valentine. NO! get off your lazy bum and go have fun! Chances are if you go out with your friends and have a good time you just might meet someone new!

Yay for short posts!
Good Luck with your endeavors! High V!
Afton Michelle