Sunday, June 9, 2013

What you didn't know!

So... I think I have struck a nerve. What do you think?

Anyway, I thought a follow-up post might be appropriate.

While I have very strong opinions about dating, engagements, and missions, there are some things that you may not have known, so let me enlighten you.

Are you sitting? Because this first item may be surprising to you!

Guess who dated a guy before his mission and wrote him the WHOLE 2 years?!?!?

In fact we dated a whole year before he left and we had every intention of getting married when he returned from serving his full time mission. He left in May 2011 to serve the Lord in Ethiopia.

                                                     (me and him going to a dance before he left)

And that's what he did, he served the Lord! Although we had strong feelings for one another while he was gone he was never "MY MISSIONARY." He was the Lords missionary. And he was not my boyfriend either, he was my friend, my best friend who was serving a mission for the Lord.

                                         (He is the really crouched one if you couldn't tell)

Before he left we had a serious discussion about us and our relationship. We decided to just be friends, because there was not really another option. He told me he expected me to go on dates with other guys, to hold other guys' hands, and he said, "let's face it, I think your pretty, and if I think your pretty some other guy will, too, and he will probably want to kiss you." He told me that he didn't expect me to be a nun for two years; he wanted me to learn and grow and really discover what I wanted in a spouse.

... any who... I wrote him every week - I believe I can count on one hand how many times I didn't write him an e-mail on a Sunday night, and those times were usually due to travels (I competed for a college debate team, and we traveled a lot for competitions!).

He wrote me back, and yes our letters did include the words "I love you" because we did love each other. I never told him how much I missed him, and I tried not to be distracting.

Just because a girl writes a missionary does not automatically make her distracting. However, in my last post I was addressing girls who I have watched with my own two eyes be distracting. If you don't know me in person I probably was not calling you out, but if you feel guilty because of my post, maybe it's time for a self-evaluation. (In specific I was calling-out a friend who sent her friend a package to celebrate their one year anniversary of dating.)

But back to my story. Standing at the beginning of the two years we thought if we were diligent then the Lord would bless us, and the relationship would work out.

We were blessed!
But we changed.
We grew up.

We didn't even necessarily grow apart, we just became two different people than the people we were two years ago. It was not a bad thing, either.

I decided to serve a mission because the Lord prompted me to. I know that it is ABSOLUTELY the BEST thing I could be doing in my life right now, and the Lord is so pleased with my decision.

We talked and realized that we had changed, for the better, and decided that when I return home, if he is not dating anyone, then we can go on a few dates and identify where to go from there.

We try to be realistic about our future together. Maybe we will end up together, maybe not, and I'm ok with that.

SOOO... I'd like to thank you for the comments and views on my page, I had an overwhelming amount of feedback, and I believe it was all valuable. But hopefully now you see I am not trying to be biased in my views. I have experienced both sides and believe I can see the pros and cons of each. I hope this has been enlightening, and enjoyable.

So for those of you who have missionary boyfriends, my plea is for you to be open minded and realistic!

Trust in the Lord and his timing!

Know that it is called the plan of happiness, and you will be happy with whom you end up with, whether it be the guy on a mission, or someone you have not even met yet!

Good luck!
Afton Michelle

p.s. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, I probably don't know you and your situation, but I do know the gospel is true and THE LORD LOVES YOU!


  1. I'm so happy I found your blog! You go girl!

  2. Totally needed this! Somehow came across this blog and I love it!!!!

  3. You are one of my absolutely favorite people. Wow.