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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

NINE DAYS!

Seeing as next week is finals, and most my of my actual finals are this week I probably should be studying, but I thought blogging or studying...OBVIOUSLY blogging won that battle.

I was sitting on the couch chatting with my roommate when I realized that I have not posted recently and that I am probably over due. So back to the title NINE DAYS!

One of my really great friends comes home from his mission in Nine Days, that's enough to count them on my hands. I can't believe that this day is actually approaching.

Also in NINE DAYS one of my best friends is having a reception, and getting married in Ten DAYS! I'm so excited for her, so here is your shout out KAMALA POULSEN!! :)

In honor of the 9 day count down I thought I would write nine facts about men and women.

1. Women are telepathic, Men are telepathetic. Women can read each others minds, Men are pathetic when they try to read any ones mind.

2. Men take ten minutes to get ready, Women can take 10 hours. Getting ready is a process for Women, Men don't rush them, Women be considerate. :)

3. Women think they are not as pretty as they really are, while men think they are more handsome than they really are (a great example is the Dove Beauty Campaign, and the Spoof!)









4. Women give directions based off of landmarks, men give directions based on numbers. This doesn't mean that either gender is bad a giving directions, just that women should tell women how to get to places and men should tell men how to get to places, problem solved!

5. Men give their honest opinion when asked, Women will always give you opinions, whether you like it or not.

6. Men can eat anything and not feel guilty about it, Women can eat nothing and feel guilty about eating everything.

7. Men don't read directions and can't figure how to set something up, Women do read directions and still can't figure how to set something up.

8. Men will answer you in Yes or No, and manage to not really answer your question. Women answer in almost every word besides Yes or No and still manage to not really answer your question.

9. Women see more colors then Men. Women see magenta, coral, peach, plum, and mauve. Men see different variations of Red, Blue, and Yellow.


Oh and P.S. awkward moment of the day and a note to a random stranger...

When I am walking to school and you (random stranger) drive past, I can see you crank you neck to look at me, it's awkward. Say Hi or I'll say GOOD BYE!

Also...

Don't ask me how I'm doing while you pass me, I can't answer that questions in the 3 seconds that I have to actually communicate with you. If you want to chat come visit me, if not just say hey like everyone else.

I hope you have a great day and good luck on your dating endeavors!

Love,
Afton Michelle

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Awkward adventures in Europe!

So just last week I returned from spending a week in Belgium, I know you are jealous, and you should be!

We had many wonderful things including waffels, chocolate and fries!
We also experienced more then we were accustomed to here in the states. This included but was not limited to naked statues, and other provocative items.... we will just leave it at that.

I guess being in Europe brought out the friendlier version of my friend Josh Christensen so what better then to post all of his awkwardness here on my blog!

The first one was when I was unexpectedly attacked by his hug, you can tell the horror I'm feeling inside by the face I'm making on the outside.
 This is Spencer being attacked by Josh as well...
This is where art imitates life, its awkward when you realize Josh is posing like a woman. The most awkward part was when our coach instructed Josh to "stick out your bum more, arch your back more."
 Josh thinks Nikko's wrists are tantalizing.
 Yes Josh is about to kiss Spencer, and it looks like Spencer is enjoying it... never saw that one coming!
 Josh is such a poser!
 Oh and last but not least meet sexy Pope. You can't look at that pose and tell me it is not the exact pose that Kate Winslet is pulling in the Titanic! Maybe only the opposite direction.




So what can we learn from this? Josh is awkward! But in that cute, adorable way that makes you want to always be his friend sort of way... right?!

Well I sure hope so!
Any who hope your week is fabulous, and that this brought a smile to your face :)

Love,
Afton Michelle


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Lovey Dovey and what not!

With Valentines coming up I believe that now is a good time to post about awkward flirting and such.
For those of you who are unfortunate enough to not have dates or significant others on this lovely day to celebrate love just know there is always this picture of this fluffy cat to comfort you!

                                              
                                           Isn't it cute?!


WELL... Back to Valentines Day... or Today... DESPERATION DAY!
Never heard of it? Well check this out!





Many girls may be wondering... How do I get a guy??!?!
It's probably too late now, let's just face it. HOWEVER, this does not mean that you need to moap around about how you don't have a boyfriend or a Valentine. NO! get off your lazy bum and go have fun! Chances are if you go out with your friends and have a good time you just might meet someone new!

Yay for short posts!
Good Luck with your endeavors! High V!
Love,
Afton Michelle









Sunday, December 30, 2012

A New Year a New Kiss?

So as New Years approaches I have been pondering...



So I did some research and here is what I found....

- From Answers...

The custom of the kiss can be traced back to the Ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia, and observances around the Winter Solstice at year end. Later, the New Year's Eve kiss would come to be seen as a barometer for things to come. In old English and German legends, the first person you came in contact with when the bells chimed midnight, be it a familiar friend or just an acquaintance, set the tone for your happiness and fortune in the coming year. A kiss with one you loved ensured good tidings, but to have to kiss someone less favorable, or not kiss anyone at all, would mean misfortune in the upcoming year.

-Wiki says...
In some Western cultures, it is a custom for people to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. Some hold the superstition that failing to kiss someone ensures a year of loneliness.[18]

- And whether you like them... or not Huffington Post writes...
According to English andGerman folklore, the first person you encounter in a new year -- and the nature of this encounter -- sets the tone for the rest of the year. A kiss is about strengthening ties you wish to maintain in the future.If a couple celebrating together doesn't take the time to lock lips, it doesn't bode well for the relationship.


So now that we know why people kiss on midnight of New Years eve lets learn some more!!!

How TO get a New Years eve Kiss.
1. Get a date or be a creep.
1. a. Get a date- Getting a date involves asking someone on a date with you. I know this may be difficult for many of you. If you are too afraid to mutter the words, "Will you go on a date with me?" just say, "Do you want to hang out?" We all know that "hanging out" is really code for, "I want to go on a date with you but I'm too afraid to just ask you out."
1. b. Be a creep- If hanging out is still too intimidating for you become a creep. I am personally really good at creeping on people on facebook and such. Use your creep skills to discover where your crush/ special someone will be during New Years. After you discover this secret be there as well.
* Side note- DO NOT BE TOO CREEPY! This will turn your crush away from you faster then a cheetah on a skate board. Do NOT physically creep through their place trying to discover where they will be because I will not vouch for you if the cops try to haul away your behind.
2.Come Prepared- this involves many aspects like...
-shower
-put on deodorant and wear perfume/ cologne
-brush your teeth and eat mints/ chew gum
-brush and do your hair nicely
-wear a cute outfit
-extra moisturize your smoocher
-be confident! After all it is key!
3.Chat it up- talk to many people at the party this does many things including helping you to make friends or maybe meet another special someone if the one you're there for turns out to be not so great.
If you are a girl and you only talk to girls... You are not giving guys an opportunity to talk to you, you are staying in the wolf pack, and the wolf pack is intimidating to guys.
If you are a girl and you only talk to guys... when you read the previous you may have discovered what is referred to as the wolf pack. This wolf pack will turn on you and try to find the best way to destroy you because you crossed the territory line.
If you are a guy and only talk to guys... well your giving off the wrong vibes.
If you are a guy and only talk to girls... you may be viewed as a player.
4. Mention that you wouldn't mind  a kiss- Subtly tell your crush/ special person that you wouldn't mind a New Years kiss. Key word here is subtly. Maybe you would write a Facebook post about it, maybe mention it in your blog... perhaps like I am :) *if you know who you are, you know who you are!
5. Be around your crush before midnight- This is obvious!

Now if you DON'T want a kiss, do the opposite of all the previous, you could also bring your Grandma to the party... because that is weird!

Hope you don't get mano!
Have fun and Good Luck!

Love,
Afton Michelle!

Monday, December 24, 2012

My Christmas Dating List

So there is probably no worse time to be single then during the Holidays. There are so many fun activities to do if you have a special someone and you notice those fun activities even more when you don't have a special someone. Because of this I have decided to compose a list of dates and activities that would be absolutely perfect with the season, maybe if I'm good Santa will bring me some of these dates shortly?

1. Temple Square Lights!- This should be a no brainer! Girls like the whole stand in front of the temple and lights and take a picture with a cute guy. You can tell girls like to do this because they immediately post their pictures to Facebook for the whole world to see. By doing this they are showing him off to their friends and saying, "Look how cute he is! He took me to temple square to see the lights!" There is something about lights that is just romantic and gives an ambiance to a date, which brings me to...

2. Light a lantern- I personally have never done this but I still would like to some day. Even though it may be cold outside it would still be magical to light a paper lantern and watch it float into the night sky. This activity may or may not be combined with watching of the movie Tangled. If the girl is a hopeless romantic like some people I know *cough cough*(me) she would deeply enjoy the movie tangled, then you can surprise her at the end with a lighting of your own paper lanterns.

3. Ice Skating- Now while skating inside is fun and stuff nothing say awww like Ice Skating outside. Luckily for us we live in Utah and there are a few spots available to do so. South Jordan has a great place to ice skate outside, and if you click the South Jordan it will take you to a website with more information. This ice skating rink is a good inexpensive date too!

4. Christmas lights- Now there can be many variations on this so I advise you to make your own creative spin on it! Where I live we have two great options for lights. First the pond, Salem city is so wonderful to decorate the pond so wonderfully. It's a great spot to drive around, talk a walk around, and probably the best... steal a smooch on the bridge. Now the only thing that could possibly make that smooch more cute would be to steal it in the snow. Its a perfect movie moment! Now another great option would be The Festival of Lights in Spanish Fork. With prices around $7 a vehicle its not very expensive and definitely note worthy! If you know of a house that has their lights dance to the music that would be a good option as well. You also could create a judging rubric and go on a tour around your city to decide which house has the best lights! Any of these options should/could be combined with hot chocolate!

5. Sledding- while it is an option I find myself tired after wards and my nose gets really cold. It still can be very fun as long as you come fully prepared for the weather! This could also apply to building a Snow man, or having a Snow ball fight. Just remember if you are a boy and you engage in a Snow ball fight still be gentle and don't hit her in the face with a Snow ball, that will definitely loose you points!

6. Dancing- This I saw just recently while I was out and about finishing up my Christmas Shopping. There was a cute couple who were shopping as well. A Christmas song came on and the guy insisted that the girl dance with him. Girls may be slightly embarrassed that they are dancing in public but deep inside behind her blushing she loves that you have that much confidence to show her off a little. Now you should be creative with your dancing.. if you need help here is a list of do's and don'ts
Do's...                                                                            Don'ts
under twinkly lights                                                         wrapped in twinkly lights (you'll probably fall over)
while you light a lantern                                                   while you light her on fire
to Christmasy or romantic music                                     To music sang by a dog
(if you are good at singing you could possibly                  To music that you sing and you DON'T have a
serenade her with your voice)                                          GOOD voice
in public                                                                          In front of an old folks place
in private                                                                         In someone's bed room while they are sleeping
by a fire place                                                                  In a fire place

Basically shy away from lighting her on fire, bad music, and in an inappropriate place and you should be well off.

7. Bake something- Now this is cute and a fun inexpensive idea as well. You can make a gingerbread house, make cookies, decorate cookies, make candies or basically anything delicious. Don't make fruit cake or jell-o, that would be weird. You could also deliver some of the goodies to neighbors and friends, and that way you don't get a belly ache from eating too much of them.

8. Snuggle up and watch a Christmas movie- well you don't specifically have to watch a Christmas movie, any cute movie will do the trick! Oh hint... if you spy over at the girl once in a while and make sure she catches you spying she might ask you what you are doing or why you are not watching the movie, if you say "I'd much rather look at the beautiful girl sitting next to me," well you might just melt her heart a little bit! Blankets are a good addition, fire places are nice, next to a lit up Christmas tree is good, just be cute!

9. Go out to dine- Dress up all nice and go out to eat. Make sure that both parties of the date know to dress up nicely. Dressing up nicely always makes everything feel more special, also you can combine this with a few of the options above like numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,and 8. Also when you are dressed up all nice and take pictures you look extra cute!

10. This is where you get cute, creative and fun. Spontaneity can be fun but secret preparation to make it seem spontaneous but still prepared for unfortunate events is very greatly welcomed.  Use your imagination and sweeping a girl off her feet should not be so hard.

So if you are reading this, which by this point it obvious that you are, go share a special moment with someone this special season! Maybe I'll be so fortunate to have one of these special moments myself!

Wish me goodluck!

Love,
Afton Michelle



Monday, November 19, 2012

Are those Wedding Bells?

Well yes I am hearing Wedding Bells but they are for my awesome cousin Brielle Jensen soon to be Brielle Smith, I'm guessing tomorrow can NOT come soon enough for her! I hear she reads my blog so SHOUT OUT! Congrats! Bryant is one lucky guy to get such a cutie like you!

So besides that loveliness I have an update!!

You know I have included attractive man in like three post now so I'm really flirting with the creep line! But not so much any more! Yesterday I talked to him, well I tried to compose myself enough to talk with him and keep myself from turning into a giant tomato. We had a casual conversation and did half of our business transaction. He gave me the goods and I was not carrying cash... luckily! Now we have to plan to meet a second time to finish the transaction. Yeah I know I'm
                                                    One Smart Cookie
Any way, today me and some friends were going to hang out, get a milkshake and play some games. I called up attractive man and left him a message, unfortunately he did not get back to me early enough. :( however we rescheduled for Wednesday!! I think it might be safe to call this a date? I am indubitably excited!

Besides all that madness My friend comes home in T-2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes until the day he gets back. If you are interested in knowing that is 49 hours 2959 minutes 1775760 seconds and 177550000 milliseconds. Now if you have not thought I was a creep in the past you maybe thinking right about now this is what I look like, and this is probably what I do on a daily basis...
Ha this is a gold mine of awkwardness and awesomeness!
Well when the eve of Wednesday falls upon us make sure you wish me luck! Knowing me I'll need it!
Love,
Afton Michelle!


Thursday, November 15, 2012

5 Reasons my Thanksgiving break should ROCK!





This is pretty relevant about my life


I believe this picture really represents me, frequently!
So I was told that this next week and a half should be very exciting and interesting for me, so I figured I should update anyone else who seems to stumble across my blog every once and a while.

#1
I'm excited to try my hand at this flirting thing again, I know I'm not the best but hey I can only get better, right?

#2
One of my friends is coming home from his LDS mission in T - 6 almost 5 days!
Their are many, many stories associated with this friend, his code name shall be... Clarke. Any way, Clarke went to highschool with me, he was a grade older, and a master Jedi. I shall begin with our adventures in DisneyLand. We went to California on choir tour and while we were at Disneyland he kept dropping hints that he wanted to hold my hand. Oh by the way when I say dropping I mean like practically begging me to hold his hand. He would tell me that if my hand got cold his was warm and could warm mine up. He also told me not to worry or get scared because he was a Jedi master and would protect me. After many more hints I decided it would be fun to make his night. I saw him walking in front of the group and decided to tell the group to watch what I was about to do. I walked up behind Clarke and grabbed his hand. I'm pretty sure that he released a squeal, his jaw dropped and he immediately had to inform the group that I was holding his hand! I felt something like...
Will Smith
So on to the next adventure!
Cheesy!Prom was vastly approaching, and I still had not been requested to attend as a date, but I still had my hopes high. It was about two weeks before when I started to be asked by my friends whether or not I had been asked by a guy. I replied no about a billion times befor I realized that they were assigned covert missions. They were sent by someone else to determine if I was avaliable for the taking. I started to put the puzzle pieces together when one day I recieved a rose and a DVD on my porch. The DVD read watch me, so of course I did. I'm thinking about posting the video... but I might need some convincing from friends, or people who read my blog ;) ;). The video was made by Clarke and was set up like an old school dating game. The game was titled "Win a Prom Date," each of my choices were Clarke dressed in different attire, in a different location and a different persona. He was sensitive, he was hard core, and overall he was goofy. I like goofy, after all I am goofy! My last option was his sister holding a body pillow, She said your next contestant... a body pillow, while soft and comfortable not avaliable for prom, ha genius. It was fallowed by Clarke with some cheesy music in the background. He explained to me that he was all the guys and that he would love to take me to prom.
Cheese ball! see ---> and ^ yeah those are cheese balls!

But on the inside I felt like...
AWE..
Aaaawwwee, CUTE!
So of course I went and had a fabulous time.
                                          Oh thats us, don't we look dashing?!
Any who, we only went on a date or two after that, it was fun! See, what did I tell ya? A pair of GOOFS!

Well he shall be back soon, and I'm excited to see him after two years.

#3
I'm scheduled to meet with attractive man this weekend! Yahoo! Sure it is to do a business transaction with him, but still maybe I can work magic? I was once told by a guy that girls do this magic thing or something where we can get guys to do anything for us, we just have to shake our hips or something and they just fall under our spell? I don't think this is true, but this is where you as my "viewers?" come and comment and tell me what you think! Do girls have magical powers that allow them to trick boys into doing whatever they want?
Hopefully I can work some kind of magic or something cuz like his alias name implies... he is attractive!

#4
I am supposed to meet with an old flame/ current flames mother for lunch or some other various entertainment, and to catch up. This has a really, really, I mean REALLY BIG back story, so I shall save it for another time!

#5
I have been trying with various others to flirt, I'm sure its awkward for everyone, but if I do happen upon luck and get a date any time soon, wish me more luck!

Love,
Afton Michelle!